The Daily B*!ch...

It's November, the month where I consciously count my blessings.  This morning as I got off the phone from my daily chat with my dear friend Andrea, I realized how thankful I am for what we have dubbed The Daily B*!ch.  Don't let the name deceive you, it isn't a non stop griping session between two disgruntled housewives, it is so much more and over the years has become something that is almost as necessary to us as breathing.

We all have multiple friends in our lives and each of those people play an important role.  We have our good time friends, our work friends, friends that we have because our kids are friends, childhood friends, our best friends…the list is long and varied and every person on it fulfills a need we have in our lives and we are better for knowing these amazing people.  Each of us has a special friend or two where there are no boundaries and we can literally tell them ANYTHING and feel safe and secure.  For me, Andrea is one of those people and The Daily B*!ch has evolved from this close friendship.  Almost every day for five years we have talked on the phone while we clean house, do laundry, etc. and we discuss whatever happens to be weighing on our minds or happening in our lives.

I admit, some days it is nothing but venting, we do after all, have husbands and children…but more often than not, it is almost like therapy.  There is no judgment on the other end and a perspective that is not living in the problem.  I would love to say that my life is perfect and I never have a bad day and that I have nothing that I need to talk about.  If I did so, I would be the biggest kind of liar.  The Daily B*!ch is not only about vocalizing the issues that arise in life, but about actively finding solutions to the problems.  It is our goal to walk away from our talk with a plan.

One of the hardest things in life to do is to maintain perspective and to see beyond the moment.  Having The Daily B*!tch has gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life and I would truly be lost without it.  Our year in Canada was very hard for me on a lot of levels.  It was hard on our marriage as Chris was at work 16+ hours a day, it was hard on me to be so isolated, my kids were homesick and I was worried about them…I could go on for a long time about all of the reasons it was hard.  The Daily B*!ch was my saving grace.  It provided a much needed link to my old life and not only kept some normalcy for me, it gave me the strength I needed to keep pushing through.  There is nothing in the world that is more helpful than someone to listen, offer a shoulder and then help to pull you up and push you on your way.

This everyday talk is also a great spiritual experience.  We often approach the issue at hand from the viewpoint of what God may want us to learn from it or how we can better our lives or someone else's by embracing the path that we have been placed on.  It is such  a comfort to have someone to remind you that you are never alone and that each of us is given a purpose that we may not always understand. We talk about the sermon from Sunday, the topics that we have covered in our class at church or Andrea's Bible study that she teaches.  Many times the discussion revolves around how to apply these lessons or what we walked away from these sessions with.  Sharing faith is a great bonding agent in a friendship!

The Daily B*!ch isn't always serious, it has a light and happy side too!  Any good therapist will tell you that balance is essential in life.  We share the touching moments of marriage and parenthood, we laugh, we exchange recipes, we indulge in discussions of paint chips and fabric.  We have lunch and have our talk face to face and top it off with retail therapy.  We are there for birthdays, holidays, baptisms and all of the joyful moments that happen in life.  We celebrate the report card victories, the wins on the football field, the hard earned date nights and the millions of things that bring smiles to our faces!

I hope that you have your own version of the Daily B*!ch and if you don't, I challenge you to try it for two weeks with a friend.  You will never go back!